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Hashing in your sleep?
In recent weeks, many hashers have been commenting
that they haven't seen Rob and Viv Pacey for a while.
It was thought it may be due to their bowling
commitments but, in fact, another reason is that Rob had a
bit of an accident in the middle of the night a few weeks
ago and suffered a knock to the head. He thought he
may have been sleepwalking.
 As RA I felt it my duty to carry out an
investigation into the circumstances and, having spoken to the paramedics
who were called to him that night, I came to the conclusion that he had not
been walking in his sleep - he had, in fact, been hashing in his sleep.
I have 3 pieces of evidence which suggest that this is the case.
 Firstly, when the paramedics arrived
at Rob's house they found he had a nasty cut to the head and, fearing he may
have been concussed, they asked him the following question,
"Mr Pacey, could you confirm your christian name for us please?"
Rob replied in a weak voice "Rubberlegs".
The paramedics looked at each other with concern and then asked, "And can
you tell me your wife's name?
Rob duly replied, " She's called Too Posh."
They proceeded to tell Rob that he must have suffered quite a knock to the
head to have got his and his wife's names wrong.
Rob shouted at them, " It's true, it's true, those are our names - you can
ask our friends, Dockleaf and Potbelly!"
Secondly, the paramedics asked Rob to
explain exactly what had happened to cause his injuries. Rob replied that
he'd wanted to go to the toilet so got out of bed and, on opening the
bedroom door, he came across a check. He'd looked in the other
upstairs rooms but could see no trail and then noticed a drop
on the stairs. He went down the stairs, only to discover a false.
He then followed the trail back up the stairs but said he must have
slipped on some shiggy on the landing and fallen over!
And thirdly.
The paramedics explained
to Rob that they would have to take him to Derriford Hospital by ambulance.
He agreed to go but, once in the ambulance, he became very agitated.
He was shouting out "Don't tell them, please don't tell them!"
They didn't know what he was on about.
Again Rob shouted, " Promise me you won't tell them".
Eventually, the paramedic told Rob that anything he told him would be
treated with confidentiality. He said, "You can tell me anything Mr Pacey
and I won't repeat a word - now, what is it that's worrying you?"
Rob replied, " You mustn't tell them that I was.... I was.... I was.....
wearing new trainers!"
So there it is - you have my evidence.
I'm sure that, after studying all the details, you will come to the same
conclusion as me - Rubberlegs was indeed hashing in his sleep.
Perhaps at this point I should advise
all hashers going to Brittany next year to lock their cabin and bedroom
doors (just in case new trainers were the only thing he was wearing!!)
Good to see you've recovered Rubberlegs - ON
ON!
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